I’ve been feeling down all day today. I’m not really sure why – some things happened Monday night that made me feel a bit off. Went to see Return of the King again with Fran today, which cheered me up a bit, but I still miss her terribly. Problem is that it’s very easy to move on and take your mind of things when you’ve got people to spend your time with. Being at home, this does not seem to be possible. People are either at Uni or two far away most of the time. However, I do know that quite a few people visit my little site here and read, and some even comment regularly. I suggest that we have a little meet up, perhaps late January or early February. If you’re interested in this idea, post a little comment here.

I’ll stick my Christmas photos up some time soon when I get a bit of free time (I’ve been very busy, even I haven’t spent much time with friends).

I’m still free this evening, so if you’ve got any suggestions for me, e-mail me. Cheer me up you bastards!

My hunt for something to do on New Years continues, still to no avail. Fran is going to a party in Oxford, but that’s not an option as I don’t think she would be too impressed if I attempted to cave her boyfriend’s face in. Jake is going to a house party in Cardiff with Uni people, Neal is off to his brothers, and his girlfriend is going too. Don’t really know work people well enough to do things with them. Tried to text Becks in the office to see what she was up to, but I still can’t send SMS. Tried to use the 0₂ site to send one, but no idea if replying works. Alas no reply would see to be forthcoming.

In reality, New Years is an overated event. No good night has a climax at midnight. Everyone searches for something to do. Over-rated day. But still it bothers me that I still have nothing to do. Daisy isn’t doing anything either, but I don’t think that’s an option. All I want is to go out and have fun with some people. Can no one offer this?

Started off this morning feeling fairly depressed. This is my first Christmas being single since 1999, and felt fairly rubbish as a result. Even worse it felt a bit like the world was going around without me as Christmas had come around without me really noticing, largely due to not stopping for it really. Every year previous to this through my academic life I’ve stopped a couple of weeks before Christmas. You put the decorations up, buy the presents and look forward to the day. No chance of that this year. However the day has got a lot better. I did get a load of stuff I’m really happy with including -

• Blink 182′s new album (surprising different and good)
• Indiana Jones Trilogy (not watched yet, but good)
• Christopher Lee’s autobiography (interesting, but I have a lot of books left to read from the Big Read)
• SSX3 (very good, need friends to play it with though!)
• Sushi Making Set (Disappointingly, only really a book and a set of chopsticks, but still good)
• Catch Me If You Can (fantastic movie)
• Some other cool stuff I can’t remember (Can anyone?)

Lunch was tasty, watched some movies and played games in the afternoon, and I feel pretty good about the day now. I even had a fairly good chat with someone this morning, but still not got what I really want for Christmas, but who knows…

Well, it’s 25 minutes to go before Christmas Day. It may be a horribly commercial thing based on an incorrect guess at a date, but the meaning of Christmas is still a great thing. May everyone who reads this have a fantastic day, and I hope you spend it with many people that you love.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, my calender for New Years Eve is still completely empty, so if anyone wants to give me something to do, please let me know.

In general, films don’t make me feel much. They don’t make me cry, the don’t make me feel a sense of loss, etc. I just sit back and enjoy the experience. I’m probably missing out on something through this, but in general, this is the way I view films. However, there are a few that can manage to make me emote. The Gathering Storm is one that has made me cry. This bit where Clementine Churchill returns from being in Komodo for 4 months is one of the most powerful bits of film I’ve ever seen. It had the biggest effect on me when I first saw it when on holiday in 2002 as I missed Fran so much, but still it makes me feel sad, as there is no better example of what love is.

Another film stirred up some things in me recently though, which was Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Right at the end, where Aragorn at last is reunited with Arwen, something strange boiled up inside me. Suddenly every loving feeling I’ve ever felt towards Fran came screaming back. I wanted to marry her again, I felt as deeply connected as I had before. I felt that if I asked, she’d say yes and everything would be ok again, but then, within 30 minutes it has passed again. It really is an amazing film, just even for managing that. Easily the best of the trilogy, and at last the things that I know must be computer effects don’t look like computer effects (apart from Gollum, he’s amazing, but not quite right yet). Can’t wait for the Extended Edition now. Funny thing is I had already agreed with Fran to go and see it with her beforehand. I did get a message from her today wondering if we had agreed to go and see it, which I assume means someone else has asked if she wants to go and see it. What to do now, what to do…

I’ve finally got round to adding a shiny new RSS Feed. Syndicate me if you wish. I very much doubt anyone will actually use it, but I’ll add some code later to monitor it’s usage. I think I have too much free time!

This is really an entry about nothing. I thought would put something on here, but can’t think of anything off the top of my head to actually put up here. What about I’ve been up to?

Yesterday was the office Christmas party and it was a excellent night. Couldn’t remember what food had ordered, so I guessed what I had – soup to start and turkey. Turkey was a might dry though. Had a good dance about, no girlie action.

I did however, have a good chat with some people, and continued this through today. I think my main problem is that I’m not yet ready for another relationship. Going out looking for a girl is too much pressure. I don’t need a girl at the moment. This is not to say that I’m going to wait for one to drop into my lap, but it does mean I’m not going to talk to every girl with a view of going out with her. Is this a healthy viewpoint?

Today has been largely about pretty girls. This morning I had to go out to a client’s offices to fix a problem they had been having with some of our software. I’ve been speaking to a girl called Anna there fairly regularly about their problems, and she seemed really nice, and for once, in person, she was really pretty, and into computers. Brilliant. Fixed their problem, all seemed to be working fine, but of course now no more phone calls. Damn. Still, I think one next week (or after Christmas) might be in order just to see how they are getting on. Being a cunning e-stalker type person, I can see that she is (possibly) 6 years older than me, and like rock. Still, we’ll see what happens with that.

Over on one of the blogs that read but don’t know the writer of, kitty.phrenzy.org she’s posted up 2 pictures earlier today. Where were girls that looked that good and were geeky when I was at Uni? Sure, Fran said she liked computers, but never on the level to make a website. Unfortunately, she’s taken down the webcam picture of earlier (it was nothing dodgy), but it did look good. Evidently such girls exist, I shall just have to try and find one. In real life. Because online contact is a bit odd (been there, done that).

Finally, I’ve finally found a supermarket that does Sushi with raw fish in it. All bow down to Waitrose. It’s even got some fish’s eggs in it, something that I really don’t find too appealing, but as I’ve never tried them, I haven’t got a good reason not too. Christmas party in the office tomorrow at The Three Counties. Apparently, 6 other companies are coming, hopefully with lots of young ladies…

Got a call from the Mini dealership today – spec of the Mini has now been locked. We didn’t change anything apart from the colour, which shall now be British Racing Green with a white roof, and having seen one such car driving around, will look stunning. Delivery date is January 19th, so best watch out on the lanes of Herefordshire after that!

Finished off my Christmas shopping today, and bought a copy of Evo while I was in Cribbs, as it’s got a feature on the new MG ZT V8. I think I’ve found the car I’d like next – the forthcoming 380bhp XPower version. Nice to see they’ve done the proper thing with a British car and thrown the nasty front wheel drive away and put in a huge (4.6l) V8 in the front and powered the rear wheels with it. Looks fantastic and according the article steers and rides properly as well. Could well be a performance bargain in a few years I reckon…